Like many of you out there, I’m required to routinely file expenses with my employer.  We use an on-line expenses system which on the whole is very efficient, but one of its quirks is that it demands that a town or city is specified for each and every line on the expenses claim.   In many cases I admit that this is perfectly sensible, but for some claims there are items where the location is either completely irrelevant, or in some cases it’s simply none of the company’s business.  Private company car mileage is one such example; where I go in my own time is my business provided that I pay for my private mileage and don’t fiddle the system.  I therefore feel no need to put  a valid location in the box, but the system won’t let me file the expenses claim without doing so.  Highly irritating!

So what should one type into the box?   Should I be unimaginative and use my home town for each of the items where the location is irrelevant?  No, that would be be far too boring.  But today I found an answer to the dilemma, and at the same time I found what is perhaps the best website in the world.  It lists all of the names of towns and cities in the world which have stupid or rude names.  Henceforth,  I shall in future be submitting expenses claims that feature just some of the following:

Duck End, Essex
Fan-Y-Big, Brecon Beacons, Wales
Twatt, Scotland
Fattiehead, Scotland
Little Snoring, Norfolk
Pratts Bottom, Kent

And if I stretch my imagination even further, I could use places which are not in the UK. I wonder if one day I can visit a part of the world which will feasibly allow me to include the following:

Bald Knob (New South Wales, Australia)
Balls Falls (Ontario, Canada)
Long Dong, China

There’s even an utterly unspeakable town in Spain called C**t, and a dubiously named Austrian town called F**king.  No, I’m really not joking!  Oh my goodness I hope that we’ve got some customers in these places, because I’ll be arranging a visit just as soon as I am able.

If you’d like to join in with the fun, you can find the full list here.